A Christmas Grace

Have you ever had those relationships in your past where the ties broke off for one reason or another, then out of nowhere, they’re back and it’s like not a day had past?

BFF’s from college can be like that where it’s like you both have always been together.

You just thought of your partner in crime didn’t you? You probably don’t even ask to get in her fridge. Yeah… me either. Some relationships are just like that.


Other relationships, however, can be a little tricky.

With the turkey already turduckened, bacon wrapped, and deep fried up, and Christmas just one week away, this time of year can put a strain on relationships. And some relationships have no stretch left.

Some of you just thought of that friend that did you wrong.

Someone else had a face of a family member come once again.

It’s the name that shall not be mentioned when the kids are around, huh?

Forgiveness is necessary not for them, but for you. If ever the question arises of whether to forgive? Always go for it. Forgiveness doesn’t excuse them from what happened. It frees you from the pain. That being said….What happens when they come back?

And of all times, why around Christmas no less?

Would you open your home to that person outside your boundary circle?

Would you even pick up the phone?

In our day the chances of those who have grown up in a broken home are more common than we think. Our generations are booming with kids from broken homes. And what is worse is even most of those foster homes that are supposed to be safe havens are broken.


I’ll be honest in saying this season has been a challenge for me. Some stories in our lives are harder than others. That time for me is now.

It’s in those seasons where hearing from Papa is crucial. That’s where we find our peace.

I haven’t heard from my mother in at least 5 years and the nature of some of those conversations from her were coming from behind bars. Other times no one knew where to find her…

Growing up, my story could match some of the kids today… daughter of a street walker in the red light district… foster care….

The whole bit….

All I knew was to protect my sister.

Now living across the country where time hasn’t healed the wounds of my past, but the hands of Jesus healed those painful places. Obviously with years of pain comes years of healing. Papa heals in layers. He’s gracious like that.


How about some encouragement? Yes? *hands you a cozy blanket and some hot chocolate*


In this season I am learning some things.

These are simple points, but sometimes the simplest things make the most impact.


  1. Give yourself grace. Let that be your Christmas present to yourself.

    Identify what you can and cannot handle and don’t feel bad for how you feel.

    I think being honest with yourself is one of the best things you can do for yourself.

  1. Boundaries are biblical and we shouldn’t feel guilty for setting them.

  2. Our job is not to fix people. Taking on that responsibility is beyond what we are able to carry.

  3. We’re meant to be a conduit of life and not be sucked dry from it.

  4. Love and Approval are two different things. Just because you don’t approve of someone’s behavior, that doesn’t mean you don’t love or respect them. Papa asks that we love all people. That doesn’t mean we let them sleep in the same bed with us.

  5. With age comes wisdom. I’m learning to embrace it. Wisdom that is… not the age… 🙂


I hope this blog wasn’t too vague. I don’t intend on bashing anyone for the sake of processing through. I do however intend to be vulnerable for the sake of freedom and love.

I pray you all will do the same.

Can I pray for you?


I pray for peace to flood through to whoever is reading this and is feeling overwhelmed with the questions of healthy boundaries especially in this Christmas season. Lord, Our hearts are desiring to show Your love. How does that work in those relationships where those who were supposed to be there for us as children just weren’t there and as a result of their lack, we got the brunt of the pain? We forgive them Papa. We take all those hurts that were inflicted on us, and we give them to You. We also take all those responsibilities that we had to carry and we give those to You too. Those moments where we had to grow up to protect ourselves and be the parent to those younger siblings. We give you those hurts and silent tears. We receive Your love. Your Peace. Your rest. Your strong arms protect us.

Thank You for that. Thank You for Your identity. You don’t call us orphans. You don’t ever abandon us. We are Your sons and daughters and You’re crazy in love with us.

Give us the courage to respond as daughters and sons and not to revolt back to our orphan state. Give us the peace to set those boundaries. We rest in the fact that boundaries are healthy and not for self-preservation.In those boundaries, show us Your heart. Teach us that saying “no” is just as powerful as “yes”.

In Your precious name Jesus we pray.


Thank you guys for allowing yourself to be vulnerable to read this with your heart open for just a moment. I love you guys. May you embrace the truth that Papa loves you more?

Merry Christmas dear one.

4 thoughts on “A Christmas Grace

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