Should Christians Be Allowed to Grieve?

Have you ever have those weeks where your emotions are riding roller coasters? I think we all go there sometimes. This reality is so true for many people, especially this week. Even though I’m thankful for this day, I’m going to be honest in saying this day is bittersweet. It doesn’t seem real that just a week ago, at this time; I was standing in a cemetery.  I’ve never understood the concept of mourning, especially for the life of a Christian.

It will never be a question as to the location of my mentor, dear friend, and spiritual momma-She loved Jesus and pointed everyone she knew back to Him. I’ve known that truth since I was 4 years old…

This blog is tough when I was writing it because I’m usually giddy and bright… but honestly?

There are moments where I’m good.

Smile on face. But when that nasty frog gets in your throat…Man…

And the tears swell as you’re holding the steering wheel…


It’s in those moments where I need Holy Spirit to come and hold my heart, because I’m not built for grief.  And if we’re being honest-none of us are built for grief.

I boarded the plane days after the funeral but the whole thing didn’t feel real. Even standing there… Tears streams down our cheeks as hearts go into shock from the reality.

So what is the truth in all of this?

Just a couple days ago there was a shooting in Oregon where the gunman singled out Christians. Funerals will be taking place and the pain of loss is beyond words.

It was all I could do to listen to the news…


My question in all this is how does the Christian mourn?

Because in truth? There’s a crap ton of mourning going on right now. (I’m just being honest).

Going to the viewing on Thursday was tough and yet…. It was oddly beautiful… There were people there I haven’t seen in YEARS.

Reunions and saying seeya laters… Bittersweet.

My mind can’t comprehend the logic in all of this… but in these moments, I have to go with what the word says and not how I feel….It’s the knowledge of Papa’s truth that sets us free.

Paul gave us a glimpse of this truth so that when death does pass by, we can have a promise to hold onto.

1Thessalonians 4.13-18

And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died.

We tell you this directly from the Lord: We who are still living when the Lord returns will not meet him ahead of those who have died. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a commanding shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God. First, the believers who have died will rise from their graves. Then, together with them, we who are still alive and remain on the earth will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Then we will be with the Lord forever.

So encourage each other with these words.

One thing that stands out me in this passage is the very first verse: we don’t grieve like those who have no hope. This isn’t to say we don’t have the right to grieve. That one word…. Like…. That word is gold.

We have permission to grieve… And to so many people that are mourning the loss of their loved one- You have permission to grieve. That is liberating to so many because for too long, there has been this hidden lie that just because our loved Christian family goes to heaven, the idea of grieving is on the hush hush. Or maybe it’s just me…

The difference between the world’s grieving and the life of the Christian? We have hope. I’m standing on that truth and I encourage you to do the same.


If you’re going through something right now and you have lost a dear saint who impacted your life, be encouraged. You’re not alone. Take a break and rest in the truth that you have permission to grieve.

Papa is near to the broken. Allow Him to even sit beside you and grieve with you. Jesus knew He was going to raise Lazerous from the dead, but He stopped and cried with Mary anyway.

I hope this was an encouragement to you. We all could use some, I think. Be blessed.

5 thoughts on “Should Christians Be Allowed to Grieve?

  1. depend on the departed, my personal opinion is we mourn for us, not for them. they have left the earth and are in a better place spiritually, with the Lord, .I mourn my sadness that I will never get to see my sister, brother, mom or dad again….in my heart I know they are with the Lord, and in a better place…but where does that leave me….a huge whole in my heart and daily sadness..grief….I believe we never stop mourning for ourselves as long as we try to hang on to what was when they were here….I have had to process many years to be able to say today I have stopped mourning for my own sadness and see them in the light of the Lord and my own heaviness has now left me….I am not sure we mourn the dead in my opinion….we are sadden for there passing, especial when they are taken by such needless violence, the shooting in Oregon left me numb for days and it still sickens me to my core….I mourn for the families left to have to face the daily pain of their loss…but the others have crossed over and are in a better place spiritually, and no matter of their religion no God or deity would deny them…..and again this is all my opinion on this subject…..thanks for the great question….kathy.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Awesome post. You are so correct when you say that the only thing that makes our grieving different is that we have hope. And what is our hope? Not only that we will see our loved ones again if they were in Jesus, but that the Holy Spirit has sealed us for the day of redemption. I love Ephesians 1:14:

    “Who ( the Holy Spirit) is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory”.

    Blessings to you sis.

    Liked by 1 person

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