I had a conversation last night that wrecked me.
It was supposed to be the start of the phone conversations that would have led to a possible dinner and a movie.
I had had a membership to a site for a while now and it was quite intriguing to even have a conversation with someone of possibility.
The phone rang and I was surprised to hear the voice on the other line had a slight European accent.
All all the girls fainted. Just kidding.
The conversation was quite fascinating and I could not help but to secretly hope he would keep talking so that I could envision some Czehoslovakian at my door with flowers.
There was just one detail that wasn’t clear.
Sure the profile was superb.
Master’s degree (never thought to even consider that high but wow okay)
But one thing kept nagging at my heart.
So I asked the question. Without thinking about how it sounded, I asked “do you go to church?” as if going to some empty building makes you a believer in Jesus.
But more than my question, it was his answer that floored me.
One by one, he named different religious buildings he had visited and even gave detail upon the order of service and its contents.
I could tell early on I was talking to a man of logic. He did have a master’s degree.
One would have thought he had a master in religion rather than electrical engineering.
The conversation very quickly began to feel like it would have been best suited in a cigar room with dignitaries trying to outsmart each other.
At one point the American church as he knew it reminded him of a party where they sang karaoke and watched the projection of the waterfalls and changing screens.
It almost felt like my words had come to bite me as I began to realize his understanding of the church and Christianity was FAR different than mine.
“I never considered the idea that the European church would be different from the Americanized church.
That being said, I must say I view my faith as being more than just attending a church service. It’s not a duty or a list of rules that I check off my daily planner. I’m not trying to boast either.
I accepted Jesus as my savior when I was 8 years old. And while I never claim to be perfect, I do read my Bible and I pray. When I go to church and sing songs in church, that time spent there is precious to me. It’s more than just a social club to me. It actually means something.
If someone was to read the Bible for the stories and not to pick it apart with analytics and preconceived ideas, he’d find it is a love story. Jesus is the hero in which those who read its contents will fall in love. Jesus changed my life and He is my reason for everything I do. I know that seems a bit radical but He did a pretty radical thing for me. I can’t count on anyone who would suffer for me the way Jesus did. But He did. He changed my life. And that is more important to me than anything. My faith means everything to me.
When I asked him what did he believe he replied, “I’m in the center. I stand for justice but I don’t want to chose any certain path. I chose logic. Something I can tangibly grasp. It’s what I do that makes me proud. But that is very noble in what you believe.”
The conversation ended as tears streamed down my cheeks.
How many people is like that man?
How many people fit that description in the church buildings?
Oh friend…. it broke my heart.
I used to see God as just words on a page because I was hurt as a child.
I saw Him as a distant father who only wanted to play when He had time.
Rules and duty was my M.O.
I could quote lyrics off any Carman record and even knew the rap section on the Jesus Freak song.
But truthfully I held God at a distance until just recently because it scared me to be vulnerable.
When I finally just let go, I felt love on a completely different level.
That brokenness in my heart cleared right up and I no longer am bound by the memories of childhood.
To know Love from a text book and to know Love when He impacts your very being is 2 totally different things.
It’s more than just a song.
It’s more than just a lyric or rhyme.
It’s more than a fancy preacher asking for money.
True Christianity looks like a love story.
The believer is the bride.
Jesus is the groom.
It’s a divine romance.
I just hope more people can just let go of their rules, and be courageous enough to fall in love.
And I hope that maybe one day I’ll find someone who views God as more than just some guy in the sky with a rule book…
One can hope… right?
One thing I know for sure
You don’t realize how much your faith means to you until you start talking about Him.
If faith is of legalistic rhetoric, the conversation would be likened to a philosophical discussion….
But when you’ve been touched by Love
*tear streams down face*
It’s not just a simple conversation to be shrugged off as just another speaking point.